Titty Gate

Humbling is a word I would use to describe this process. You know me… go, go, go… never sit down, never take a break. Always ON! I have since the diagnosis really had to listen to my body, physically and mentally. Asking for and allowing help has been a big one for me, which I have done I think gracefully lol Our body is amazing though, I must say. Its ability to know what to do for you and to give you signals is kind of fascinating. The way my body knew my blood pressure was low and started to “fix it” immediately the other night when I fainted. The sweating was my body trying to regulate me back out. Funny how it knows before you do what’s happening inside. The way we heal, the way the blood rushes to start fixing us… it’s quite an interesting thing.

Wednesday and Thursday were rough ones, recovery wise and I listened to my body and sat my butt down in bed. When I could feel it was enough, I would go lay down. I didn’t try to push it. Yesterday, I woke up and my chest area was swollen. I called the Dr and he had me come see him. I told him I was probably just being paranoid and he said “we do paranoid here, no worries”. Have I mentioned I love him? He assured me it was just the bruising and that everything looked normal. He also took a look at the incision and said “not to toot my own horn but I did good!”. He told me he took a large chunk out, and obviously I am still swollen so its hard to tell, but I don’t think I will have much of an indentation. I will have a sick scar! But the balance of the breasts won’t be that far off. He said I bled a lot, which explains part of the fainting Tuesday night… anesthesia, blood loss, dehydration… you know all reasons I should have been kept overnight.

That little trip to the Dr took a lot out of me and I realized for the first time that I’m weak and I need to rest. I am not Super Woman. I think I thought I would be ok within a few days and it hit me… no you will not. Major surgery. Go sit down, Michele. So I listened. This morning I had an appointment at the Fertility Clinic and came home and took a shower, had 2 visitors, followed by a 3 hour nap! I acknowledge my limitations and will act accordingly. As much as I wish I could go out, maybe by Sunday. We’ll see. I try to get up and walk around the house at least bc I know that will help me heal but even bending down is painful and I cannot lift my arm above my head so that excludes the majority of activity. Washing my hair was fun. I have a lot of bruising, I’ll share the photo of my incision here. There’s no nip so its all good! Don’t be horrified mother that I’m sharing this picture on the internet lol