Titty Gate

If you’ve been following along, then you know that part of this process is doing an egg retrieval as a combination of things concerning my treatment plan will damage potential eggs, shut down my ovaries, and not allow me to carry a pregnancy to term without risking a recurrence of the cancer. So 2 days post surgery, I began taking the fertility drugs. If you follow me on instagram, you’ll see I posted every day on my story, a countdown to egg retrieval day. For 6 days I took “stim” medication in the form of injections, Follistim and Menopur to mature the follicles and plump up the ovaries. On the 7th day we added a 3rd injection of Cetrotide to hold off ovulation. On the 10th day I began trigger medication and today we retrieved 24 oocytes! The eggs will have some more time to mature overnight and tomorrow the doctor will let me know how many eggs were able to be frozen. And there they will hang out in the freezer until the time I decide what to do with them. But I am happy to know my future potential baby/babies are protected from my cancer medication.

This part of the experience has been another humbling and deeply emotional part of the journey. This was the hardest part of the diagnosis, knowing that I cannot conceive and carry on my own should I choose because of this. Going through this process at the fertility clinic, from what the doctor told me, it seems I am fertile and do not appear to have any infertility issues and so there’s a level of sadness involved in that, had I wanted to, I could have on my own. And that option was taken away.

When the medication arrived in the mail, it was overwhelming and the first set of injections I had to do, I was nervous. I think more nervous to do that than to go under for my lumpectomy. All I can say is I have the utmost respect and admiration for all of the mothers who have gone through this countless times to bring their babies into this world. If no one has ever told you how amazing you are, I am telling you now. I did this for 10 days and I’m done. I did not have a crazy reaction to the medication and my experience was for the most part not very difficult. I think that has a lot to do with the fact that I was home recovering for the majority of it.

But all I thought about every day, every injection, was the moms I know (and don’t know) that have gone through multiple egg retrievals, multiple IVF cycles, multiple losses… you are breathtakingly beautiful in a way I cannot describe. The amount of love that goes into this… the genuine love and desire you have for your child, to subject your body to this so you can bring a life into this world is beyond words. I honestly have no words for the admiration I have for you. On Mother’s Day this year, a dear friend who had her adorable son via IVF sent me a message and told me I was a “warrior mom” now and I didn’t think about it that way or really understand until I began this. I understand only a fraction of what she went through to bring her son into this world and I am humbled at the thought that I now belong, in some way, to this warrior mom’s club. You are truly truly amazing women. I don’t think enough people understand the kind of love you have in your heart to do this. And how blessed your babies are to have you as a mom.

Before we began today, the nurse asked when I had my surgery and I said “2 weeks ago today”, she stopped dead in her tracks and said…”what? so you started these drugs within days of your surgery?”… I said, “oh yes… my cycle started on the operating table”. She was astonished and she said to me, “wow, you’re a warrior.” A beautiful compliment that I will treasure always.

So now that is done and we can move on to Phase 3. I have an appointment with my hematologist tomorrow who will hopefully be able to tell me what the next phase entails. My bruises are fading, they’re entirely green now and the under boob area bruises are almost completely gone. I do experience some random stabbing pains which are normal and I am still very swollen which I can be for at least 3 months.

If you have any questions about the egg retrieval process, feel free to ask!